2 flamingos head to head

So we’re only the 2nd month into 2017 and you’ve already successfully upgraded from the lonely hearts club to a semi-serious relationship – congratulations.

The only problem is, you’ve done it just in time for Valentine’s Day. Awkward.

As there are so many ways to get it wrong, here are 13 things not to do on the big day

  1. Do not feel guilty for not wanting to get involved.

Everyone else secretly hates Valentine’s Day too.

  1. Do not feel pressure to spend lots of money.

We hope you kept the receipt for that Mulberry bag.

  1. Do not think that a surprise mini-break to Paris is a good idea.

So awkward.

  1. Do not hire a flash mob of violin players.

Toes. Physically. Curling.

  1. Do not make public declarations of love on Facebook.

They will not find it cute.

  1. Do not ghost them on 13 February.

Not good

  1. Do not pretend to have forgotten on the day.

You are a bad person.

  1. Do not plan a last-minute business trip.

We’re calling it bullshit.

  1. Do not agree to meet their parents.

Abort mission.

  1. Do not make them a handmade card.

Who do you think you are, Neil Buchanan?

  1. Do not put rose petals anywhere.

Someone save us.

  1. Do not underestimate the power of pizza.

Who needs commitment when you have cheesy carbs?

  1. Do not propose.

Nope. Never.

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